High & Lows: Hiking With Kids Edition

Terrifying trails, National Park art lessons and pockets full of candy.

"I do like hiking but I don't like people telling me how fast to go."

My seven-year-old dropped this bomb of wisdom on us as we were reminding him that he was having a good time for the tenth time the other day in Bryce National Park. Because the thing is that our kids do like hiking, they just seem to hate the word hiking.

Trying to convince your kids to do something they generally enjoy doing is one of parenting's most absurd battles. At the end of the day, hiking is just walking around together in nature together. That's it. And yet, somehow, getting started on this simple activity requires intense negotiations and bribery.

We’ve done a lot of hiking this week out in Nevada and Utah, from the Valley of Fire State Park outside of Vegas to a snowy rim walk around Bryce Canyon, to a terrifying ridge trail in Zion.

And now that the trip is almost over (more about this wild co-parenting road trip with our friends Steven and Casey to come, including specifics about what to do and where to stay), I’m already nostalgic for it. Because much like childbirth it’s so easy to black out the terrible moments once they’re in the rearview mirror. So we decided to list them here. I am a parent who wants their kids to love nature and the outdoors. It’s one of the things I am trying to instill in them from a young age, but it is not easy.

We had FIVE kids and four adults on this trip so yes, we were outnumbered. Two seven-year-olds, two five-year-olds, and a baby who mostly stayed in a hiking backpack (mostly). We went from 95 degrees to 25 degrees in the same trip.

At the end of it all, it's fucking great. Obviously, they won't love every second, but the question becomes: how can we get them to love enough of the seconds that they'll do it again? Because beneath the complaints and the sunscreen disasters and the constant snack requests, they're forming memories that will stick with them. I hope.

LOWS:

• Spending the entire ridge trail experience yelling "STAY TO THE LEFT!" so nobody tumbles off the edge while simultaneously trying to regulate your own anxiety without transferring it to the kids. That delicate balance of "have fun but don't die" messaging is exhausting.

  

• Trying to save a baby from falling only to put my hand squarely down on a prickly pear cactus. It’s tiny spines, no larger than pieces of hair, enter my skin and stay in for the next three days despite following many of the Internet’s suggestions for getting them out. I can finally type again.

• Becoming a human Swiss Army Knife while trying to enjoy yourself. I can deliver water, open a bag of crackers, put on a jacket, take off a jacket, tie a shoe and take a deep breath and enjoy the hell out of the present moment all at the same time.

• The baby decided she hated the backpack and Nick Aster halfway through a two mile hike along the rim trail of Bryce Canyon. But she is also total shit at walking so I had to carry her while she demanded I sing a made up song about a unicorn 19 times. Who needs a weighted vest when you have a demanding toddler?

  

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