I’m Not Vilifying Tradwives, I Don't Judge Other Women

Plus the tradwife going viral for racist rant

Order Everyone is Lying to You today! If every single subscriber to this newsletter got it now then it would definitely do really well. Seriously. Plus you get the substack for free for a year when you do it.

Here is the Amazon link. I know it is often the easiest one. This is a list of more purchasing options, but it is also available at a lot of indie bookstores and you can get signed copies mailed to you here and here. Tour stops are here!

just borrowed these chickens from my neighbor to make content

I got asked in an interview today why I chose to vilify tradwives in Everyone Is Lying to You and I answered very honestly.

I’m not vilifying tradwives. I’m not vilifying any woman in this book. I don’t judge the women I write about or women in real life. The thing that often receives my full wrath on the page and in conversation isn’t a woman baking sourdough in a gingham apron. It’s the lie she’s been told to sell. It’s the performance.

This book isn’t about attacking a lifestyle. It’s about the danger of deception, especially the kind that thrives on social media. It’s about taking apart the curated illusion that a woman’s only purpose is to submit to her husband and make her home beautiful, and that this isn’t actual work. That it’s effortless.

That’s the lie. When we erase women’s labor, when we make it invisible, we make it unpaid and unacknowledged. That’s what I’m coming for in this book.

Yes, I poke fun at soft-filtered influencer culture because some of it is deeply absurd. (You try cleaning the toilet in a ruffled prairie dress and tell your boobs don’t fall right out.) But I’m not mocking women. I’m pulling back the curtain on a system that rewards women for lying about how hard they work, how much they give, and how little they ask for in return.

There are two real villains in Everyone Is Lying to You:

1. The deception. The smoke and mirrors of social media.

2. Really shitty men.
   

The second group does, in fact, get vilified. Some of them even end up dead. I don’t lose sleep over it. It’s a fun and murdery book.

So no, I don’t vilify women. I vilify the systems that manipulate them and the men who benefit from the lies.

There are some tradwives who are genuinely awful people. I didn’t have to make them up. I just happened across a truly terrible interview with self-proclaimed tradwife influencer and skilled troll Lilly Gaddis proudly proclaiming her regular use of the N-Word.The video is more than a month old, but it was only just served to me, likely because the algorithm wants to deliver me more and more tradwife content.