Mom Tortures Herself to Start Day

This doesn't seem like morning routine I want

I had different plans for this morning’s newsletter. One of the things I wanted to write about was the magical and wonderful treat that is an ADULT LADY SLUMBER PARTY. I had one with one of my besties last night (with no children) that left me so happy and filled with joy and rejuvenated. We cooked dinner, had some (but not too much) wine, sat on the porch, chatted through an entire movie and went to bed at a reasonable hour. I want to make adult lady slumber parties a thing that all of us do on a regular basis and I will revisit that later this week in another newsletter.

But then this REEL about a mom finding ways to make herself uncomfortable every morning in order to prepare here body and brain for a day of parenting came into my feed and I had to write about it. This subject has a direct correlation to today’s Under the Influence episode about MOM RAGE with Minna Dubin where we talk about how society is shaped to breed exhaustion and anger in mothers.

The reel I am talking about is from Brooke Ray Bould, a mom influencer who homeschools her four boys and has nearly half a million followers. Now I want to preface this with the fact that I like a lot about Brooke’s feed and her advice about running her household like any other high intensity job. Being a mom IS A JOB and she has a lot of videos that really hammer home that point. But the one that just had me screaming NOOOOOOOOOO is about how moms should purposefully make themselves uncomfortable to get better at being a mom. To me this reads almost like an onion headline, WOMAN MAKES HARD JOB EVEN HARDER.

Brooke is advocating waking up at 5 am (two hours before her kids) taking one or two cold showers and doing an intense workout before the children wake up in order to “get comfortable with being uncomfortable,” and “cultivate mental toughness.”

I am all for self-care. If you are into cold showers, good for you. I love a cold plunge. If you want to get up early to have you time before your kids, AMAZING. Same for working out. I like all of these things (in moderation). BUT should you do them to HARDEN YOURSELF for the HARD DAY AHEAD?

Her argument is that people talk about mental toughness with regards to things like professional sports and business development, but not in regard to being a mom. This is true. And I am with her on the fact that we should have better language around the labor of being a mother. BUUUUUUUUT I don’t see how making a hard day harder, adding more to your plate, finding ways to essentially torture yourself, are the best ways to make life easier. I really don’t.

Brooke goes through her morning routine on her reel. She also looks VERY COIFFED while doing it.