My New Phone Rules

Small hacks for less screen in my life that are actually working

In times of crisis (personal or for our communities) we spend more hours than ever glued to our phones waiting for the next update. Some of these hours are useful, many of them are not. A lot of those times we are scrolling through the news organizations feeding us clickbait because they sadly see their traffic surges during these crises.

The California wildfires are no exception. They terrify me and I want every single bit of new information injected directly into my veins no matter toll it will take.

Yet I’ve been able to hold steady to a few new rules I have set for myself when it comes to my phone. Actually, let’s not call them rules. They aren’t hard and fast and I don’t want to feel like shit when I inevitably break them. They’re guidelines. That seems more gentle.

I started thinking about these a lot when I made the command decision to set a novel that I am working on in 1996 instead of 2026. It was so fucking freeing. The characters don’t have texts coming in all the time, they don’t have the ability to find out every single piece of information about everyone in ten seconds. They have to do real research and investigate things. There’s just so much more space.

It’s much easier to build intrigue and mystery, to just let things be. I want my life to be like this.

The nineties weren’t perfect (although my Revlon coffee bean lipstick, slip dresses and choker necklaces will always be perfection) and it is true that phones allow us a lot more flexibility when it comes to work. But most of us just haven’t developed enough good habits about living with them.

I’m trying to be better. And it is helping even as the world burns down around us. In addition to my new policy of saying no more often, these guidelines are just giving me more space and I think that is what we are all craving these days.

Here are the eleven things I have been trying.

1. I treat my phone like a landline in my house. I read that Caroline Chambers does this too and it is yet another thing I adore about her. Treating my phone like a landline means it lives in one place in my house just like an old corded phone would….or frankly even a cordless phone that had to live in a charger most of the time. This way it isn’t attached to my body. I have to go to it which is an extra step, and one that I often don’t take.

   I’ve even considered buying this weirdo charging dock.

   

2. If I need a distraction I read. I sprinkle real print magazines (I still get Dwell, the Atlantic, Philly Mag and Sunset delivered) around the house. So if I feel the need to read something they’re within reach. I keep a bunch of them in the bathrooms too along with poetry books. As my frequent collaborator Christine always says, a bathroom break is the perfect length for a poem. If you have a poop you can even get in two. I am currently reading A Bit Much from Lyndsay Rush in the loo.

   

3. I force myself to shop IRL. The other day I suddenly decided I needed new pajamas ASAP. And I started clicking around and decided on these gems from J. Crew.

   

   I could have bought them right then and there, but instead I decided to pause and take a stroll to our J. Crew store by Rittenhouse Square (which is a lovely 10 minute walk from my house) and try them on in person. They are great and I got them. I also got in an extra 2,500 steps, got outside and supported a brick and mortar store. Everyone is winning.

   But wait. There are EIGHT MORE of these.