The Worst Influencers on the Internet

Plus what happened my first week back on the GLP

Photo by John Arano on Unsplash

Before we get started, a couple of fun reads for your weekend. I LOVE this profile of Leighton Meester from Bustle and it is making me want to get bangs which is definitely a bad idea for me. Can everyone remind me it is a bad idea for me!

Also, you need to see Alexander Skarsgard in thigh high boots. I am dying to cast him as Gray or Marsden (he could actually play them both Parent Trap style) in Everyone is Lying to You so I have reached peak stalking.

Ok…back on topic.

There are a bunch of categories of influencers that I absolutely can’t stand. I hate the MAHA supplement gals. I hate the gentle parenting basic bitches. But lately the ones driving me the most crazy are the protein weight lifting chicks who dominate my feed because I once said semaglutide to my phone.

One of the things I am doing to have my Big Beautiful Summer (yeah I stole that from Trump bc we deserve nice things) is cleansing my phone of the fake experts on diet, weight loss, weight lifting and protein. None of this is helpful. I know what to do to stay in shape for ME.

1. Don’t drink like I’m 25.

2. Stop eating off the kids plates.

3. Take a GLP-1. It works for now, but who knows what the eff it is doing to my body.

4. Try to eat eggs and lean meat.

5. Don’t house a whole pizza, just house a couple of slices of pizza.

6. Work out.

These are things I do. I lift the weights. I walk. I bike. I eat chicken. I started taking semaglutide shots again. But I don’t know if they will work for you or anyone else. All bodies are different.

And the fact is that right now too many influencers are preying on women’s manufactured pain points. They want us to feel bad so they can make money off us. Literally every human who has once cooked a square of salmon and then lost a pound wants to tell you what to do and the Meta algorithm is gonna boost the hell out of it because it knows it works for engagement.

I have massively mixed feelings about starting the semaglutide again. The new nurse at the MedSpa where I get my injections was a little too smug when she told me what it would cost and looked at me like “I know you’re gonna pay it, they all do.” I am very nervous about whether I will want to be on this long-term and what it is doing to my brain. I have a gazillion questions and I will be asking experts and doctors about all of it in the next few months so we can all talk about it together.

Don’t forget to grab your copy of Everyone is Lying to You (the title was partially inspired by influencers like these). You can send me your receipt at the link below. This is a list of purchasing options, but it is also available at a lot of indie bookstores and you can get signed copies mailed to you here and here.

Here are the very gross details about what happened when I went back on the shots on Wed and a deeper dive into the protein and weight lifting influencers who have no right telling you how to live your life.