1. Met a kind and caring boy (a high school sweetheart!)
2. Broke up with him in college because I thought I needed something more than that. Kind and caring boy immediately enlisted and got sent across the globe.
3. Dated a string of bad boys. Kind and caring and I kept in touch.
4. Realized I needed kind and caring.
5. That same kind and caring boy was always there for me through it all, even though we weren't together and he was in a polar opposite time zone and on a boat, got to come back stateside eventually and we got the band back together. He told me he tried to date but "no one ever compared to you."
I love telling people we're high school sweethearts, and love more telling them that we're much more than that. Been together (and not together) for 20 years. I'm only in my mid-thirties. A blessing.
Fantastic piece. YES. I, too, married an Aiden and he is the best. I am also the mother of three boys and I tell them over my dead body am I putting assholes out in to the world; they may not keep their rooms as tidy as I would like but they better be nice and also know how to clean a bathroom. I picked up a banana peel from the side table yesterday and the first thing I thought of was their future partners (please know I tried!!!).
I have to say, though, that I was chewed up and spit out by a Mr. Big in my early twenties. I agree we need to move away from spotlighting that kind of guy, but could part of the problem also be the "helpless broken-hearted maiden" reaction? Because there is something very satisfying about seeing a woman come into her own, recognize her power, and shut that shit down.
I am here for the Big backlash! My theory has always been that Aiden saw, understood, and most importantly LOVED Carrie for her true self, but that (original SATC) *Carrie* didn’t have the self-confidence to accept the version of herself that Aiden saw. To me the Big/Carrie partnership always lacked a squishy nougat center of emotional vulnerability. Vulnerability is super hard, yes, AND ALSO everyone deserves a partner who can see and love their full deepest emotional selves.
I had a lot of emotional upheaval in my early 20s before finding my husband. When I had gotten engaged to him, a former friend of mine (who I had a friend break up with before we got married) said, “I just don’t see the chemistry there with the two of you that I saw with (ex).” And my response was- I have never felt emotionally safe with ANYONE until I met my husband, I think you are vastly undervaluing how important it is to me to feel that safety. The oxytocin of the first 2 years wears off anyway, I would much rather be with a good looking man who values his family than a man who made me feel like I was falling off a cliff on a daily basis.”
Emotional safety is vastly underrated. I’ve been in an exclusive relationship with my husband for over 13 years, married for 10 years in 2 weeks, and while I can never say our marriage has been perfect, I have never once questioned if he was kind and would be upfront with me.
The greatest blessing of my entire life:
1. Met a kind and caring boy (a high school sweetheart!)
2. Broke up with him in college because I thought I needed something more than that. Kind and caring boy immediately enlisted and got sent across the globe.
3. Dated a string of bad boys. Kind and caring and I kept in touch.
4. Realized I needed kind and caring.
5. That same kind and caring boy was always there for me through it all, even though we weren't together and he was in a polar opposite time zone and on a boat, got to come back stateside eventually and we got the band back together. He told me he tried to date but "no one ever compared to you."
I love telling people we're high school sweethearts, and love more telling them that we're much more than that. Been together (and not together) for 20 years. I'm only in my mid-thirties. A blessing.
Fantastic piece. YES. I, too, married an Aiden and he is the best. I am also the mother of three boys and I tell them over my dead body am I putting assholes out in to the world; they may not keep their rooms as tidy as I would like but they better be nice and also know how to clean a bathroom. I picked up a banana peel from the side table yesterday and the first thing I thought of was their future partners (please know I tried!!!).
I have to say, though, that I was chewed up and spit out by a Mr. Big in my early twenties. I agree we need to move away from spotlighting that kind of guy, but could part of the problem also be the "helpless broken-hearted maiden" reaction? Because there is something very satisfying about seeing a woman come into her own, recognize her power, and shut that shit down.
I am here for the Big backlash! My theory has always been that Aiden saw, understood, and most importantly LOVED Carrie for her true self, but that (original SATC) *Carrie* didn’t have the self-confidence to accept the version of herself that Aiden saw. To me the Big/Carrie partnership always lacked a squishy nougat center of emotional vulnerability. Vulnerability is super hard, yes, AND ALSO everyone deserves a partner who can see and love their full deepest emotional selves.
I had a lot of emotional upheaval in my early 20s before finding my husband. When I had gotten engaged to him, a former friend of mine (who I had a friend break up with before we got married) said, “I just don’t see the chemistry there with the two of you that I saw with (ex).” And my response was- I have never felt emotionally safe with ANYONE until I met my husband, I think you are vastly undervaluing how important it is to me to feel that safety. The oxytocin of the first 2 years wears off anyway, I would much rather be with a good looking man who values his family than a man who made me feel like I was falling off a cliff on a daily basis.”
Emotional safety is vastly underrated. I’ve been in an exclusive relationship with my husband for over 13 years, married for 10 years in 2 weeks, and while I can never say our marriage has been perfect, I have never once questioned if he was kind and would be upfront with me.